Panto season is upon me and in true form, I am currently in the midst of it all! “Oh yes I am..!”
So. This title. A few events have happened recently that have really made me look at myself and my life and everything in my life.
One of those being..is being disabled.
Now. This is a result of this bloody illness prior to the t.m attack I was not disabled.
In the early days…..yes you could see I was-yes the wheelchair, the walking sticks-the odd walk….but now….not so much is it obvious.
Those close to me see the good, the bad, the ugly-others see….well…the good…and the bad/ugly….but dressed in a disguise.
Work mates are now used to me living on paracetamol/ibuprofen-(not literally living off them!) But asking if anyone has any if I have ran out and my others are not in my work bag etc.. they see the funky dunky desk set up, the funny waddle if I have sat too long, the physio excercises when I stand up with my desk…but…others who do not know me….just see me…. don’t they?
I had to use a standard desk and chair for training recently and that was….painful…..it was just….uncomfortable…my legs and back ached and I was just not right..I told my mentor who had no idea….but why would she?
The looks when I use a disabled toilet….the lift instead of stairs…the panic of going down an escalator…..up…fine…
But I look ok don’t I? Because I don’t always fit the stereo type…
My appearance can be misleading….
But what really hurts is comments about my weight.
Yes I could eat better….but…some of this is out of my control…my thyroid is knackered, I hold water, I get constipated and take a concotion of medication.
So friends-if you see a none typical looking disabled person using their blue badge for a parking space, or maybe someone has piled weight on and doesn’t quite seem themselves…take a moment before you judge. Perhaps something is going on you cannot see.
I would be a rich if I had a pound for every time someone said “you don’t look disabled, I had no idea,”
Be excellent to each other.
Until next time.